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| Post Number: 31
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GEOKARJO 
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Posts: 7799
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Aug. 03 2004,10:49 pm |
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One of the kids recently moved out this last weekend into thier own apt. I never noticed it before ( I was aways afraid to go in that room for the fear of never finding my way out)
I couldn't help but chuckle at sign hanging on his wall he had left behind that had been given to him when he was 15.
"Teenagers Hurry Up Get a Job Make Lots of Money and Move Out While You Still Know Everything"
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| Post Number: 32
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p8ntball_junky
Group: Members
Posts: 43
Joined: Apr. 2004
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Posted on: Aug. 04 2004,12:33 am |
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my god Lisa........has your teaching career made you forget what the difference is between a beaten and a spanking?? Everyone who has said, I always saw the back of my dad's hand when I did something wrong and BOY did I deserve it, or, when I did something wrong back in my day......my dad would bring out his belt.
| Quote | | The Game: Were you being disciplined for inappropriate behavior or were you being beaten and humiliated by a parent? |
I know teacher's are supposed to think outside of the box and have different point of views but jesus, do you have make everything in this thread sound like child abuse?? When I was a kid, when I ever I did something wrong......I got a spanking or a harsh 'NO!' or some kind of discipline that very SECOND I pulled that little stunt. I'm 18 today and I turned out to be a good kid. Never been in trouble with the law, have never done any drugs, only had the tinyest of tinyest sips of alcohol and everything else that an average kid has done. I'm glad I got a good lickin' when I did because it taught me to never do it again or I KNOW I would be getting 1,000 times worse the next time I did it. I honestly think that this whole thing about discipline by spanking and abuse has gone way out of hand. When I have kids, if they do something wrong they're gonna get that very second. If someone sees me, tough, it's called discipline. I know that everything you have said is your own opinion and thoughts but seriously.......open your eyes and get out of teacher mode.
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| Post Number: 33
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lisalisa
Group: Members
Posts: 28
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Aug. 04 2004,8:01 am |
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P8ntballl -- I can see where you may think that I believe any form of physical punishment is child abuse. I don't mean to imply that. My children have been physically disciplined from time to time. They knew in advance what actions deserved spankings and swatted fingers. (Keep in mind they're only 4&6. Harsher punishments would not be appropriate at this age.) The majority of it is/was to get their attention, not to physically harm them. I would like to think that I would never have to use a belt on my child. Maybe it's a psychological thing, but when I think of a belt I think of rage. When I think of rage I think of a parent who is out of control. Yes, I know, there I great parents out there who have used belts as a form of discipline, but they're not the ones I get to meet. I get to meet the ones who get their power from the act of beating their child, not disciplining, not punishing or redirecting, but just beating.
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| Post Number: 34
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GEOKARJO
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Posted on: Aug. 04 2004,6:20 pm |
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Have you seen my Daughter I droped her of at the ALBERT LEA HIGH SCHOOL front steps in the fall of 2003 and she never return what I got back is not my daughter.
I called my daughter today and asked her if she would like to go have dinner at the fair with me, something we have done every year since she was 4 years old. She just lite into me like boyfriend she just caught cheating on her.
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| Post Number: 35
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Ole1kanobe
Group: Members
Posts: 1360
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Aug. 05 2004,9:16 am |
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Just because a parent chooses physical discipline over mental head-game discipline does not mean that that parent is beating their child. To me, mental abuse is far worse than physical abuse just in the fact that physical abuse affects people in a different manner than mental abuse.
I guess my idea of beating is like my old neighbor's dad, when he came home mad and found something to gripe about, he would get out the cotton rope and whip his kids in front of everyone. To me that's abuse and humiliation, where just getting a belt (or a hand) across your butt once or twice when you screwed up and did something that you knew you shouldn't have is discipline.
As far as bruising goes, you can't use a blanket statement such as do you know how hard you have to hit (or be hit for that matter) to leave a bruise. I can bang my knee on my desk and leave a bruise. My son can hit is head on the side rail of his bed and get a bruise in his sleep or when he wants out, yet he won't cry and hasn't been beaten. That isn't even bringing up that fact that each and every person's body has a different tolerance level of when it will bruise. My wife bruises when she rests the laundry basket on her hip bone when she takes it downstairs the the laundry room, but I am not beating her.
I can understand your view, but I just don't think the whole bruise thing really holds water.
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The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
-Albert Einstein-
Some of what is said here (myself included) is about as tolerable as listening to someone vacuum a cat.
-nphilbro-
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| Post Number: 36
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jassum2001
Group: Members
Posts: 26
Joined: Jun. 2004
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Posted on: Aug. 05 2004,11:00 pm |
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| Quote (GEOKARJO @ Aug. 02 2004,3:43:pm) | | I am not saying I would back hand my child that was how I was raised. It made me think twice about screwing up and doing things I knew was wrong. I just shake my head at my daughter and walk away. |
for me, if i got "backhanded" or any other physical form of discipline (after a certain age) it just made me learn to be sneakier... just me tho
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| Post Number: 37
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jassum2001
Group: Members
Posts: 26
Joined: Jun. 2004
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Posted on: Aug. 05 2004,11:04 pm |
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| Quote (Liberal @ Aug. 02 2004,5:13:pm) | Here's a Minnesota appeals court decision that went against a father that put a belt to his kids bare butt for not finishing his homework and acting up in school.
STATE OF MINNESOTA COURT OF APPEALS C9-01-1842
I would never do what this father did, but, I wouldn't consider it criminal either. I can see an ashtray to the head is clearly abuse, but, I'm not so sure about the leather belt. Where do you draw the line between discipline and abuse? |
i think the line of abuse has to be drawn... if it leaves marks, you have obviously gone too far...
when i was growing up (which i am not quite done, i'm still VERY young) i was raised by my grandparents because my parents were on drugs (you might have read about my mother in the paper) and i was very rebellious, if they tried to ground me i didn't listen, when they got physical i got physical... they sent me away, i was in treatment, crossroads, help through the church, counseling, and medication... but nothing helped until i hit 18, then i "clicked" mostly because of the morals i was taught and the church ... i don't know whose daughter was out of control... but remember, even if it doesn't help now the information for her may come useful in the future... don't give up!
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| Post Number: 38
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GEOKARJO
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Posted on: Aug. 06 2004,1:14 pm |
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I myself have only used the palm of my hand to the fully clothed buttox. I would have the child lay accross the arm of the couch.
To me abuse is grabbing the child and striking.
A disciplined act of spanking should be observed.
Example My daughter was not were she was suppose to be and her mother was looking all over town for her she was 11 years old she had done this twice in a week. scolding and grounding was not acheiving the desired discipline.
I was at home when she came home I asked her where she had been why was she not where she should have been.
Her answer was unacceptable and this being the second offense I told her she was going to be spanked. I calmly told her to lay over the arm of the couch by this time she was crying promising to never do it again.
I told her it was to late for that. so she lay over the arm ove the couch and I barely made contact with her bottem and she just let out a cry that you would of thought I had just locked up her Barbie Dolls again.
She has since always been where she says she is going never never comes home late.
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| Post Number: 39
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ICU812
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 3244
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Aug. 06 2004,1:38 pm |
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When my nephew acts up I grab his hand and pull it within inches of an outlet and threaten to electrocute him. It sounds cruel but it does the trick. Another one that works in the car if he acts up is to pull over and kick him out of the car and drive off. I usually only have to drive about 100 ft and when he gets back in he listens and obeys great. And my favorite one to pull on him is to tell him we are going to the park, but when we get there I play on the equipment and make him watch me play. All of the above has never been done by me to him, I just felt like bullschmidting for a minute. He is a good kid with good parents and that is what it takes.
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| Post Number: 40
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Scurvy Dog
Group: Members
Posts: 825
Joined: Jul. 2004
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Posted on: Aug. 06 2004,1:54 pm |
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As Denis Leary said about discipling children: I've always found that waving the gun around does the trick. 
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