|
|
| Post Number: 11
|
Newbie 
Group: Members
Posts: 716
Joined: Mar. 2004
|
 |
Posted on: Aug. 02 2004,12:19 pm |
|
   |
| Quote (Frustrated @ Aug. 02 2004,10:39:am) | | Listen to yourselves - sound like a bunch of old foggies. Kids today are doing the same things kids have always done. They are no different than we were... |
I never acted like that. Going to the movies was a privilage not a right. That's the one of the problems with teens today. They think $ grows on trees and everything should be handed to them. In our home our girls are taught the differences between needs and wants, privilages and rights. Some of these parents are setting their kids up for financial failure raising them this way.
BTW I'm only 31
--------------
People who don't like cats must have been mice in a previous life.
Never argue with an idiot; they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
|
 |
|
|
| Post Number: 12
|
lisalisa
Group: Members
Posts: 28
Joined: Aug. 2003
|
 |
Posted on: Aug. 02 2004,3:22 pm |
|
 |
Geo, maybe I misread your last post. But does your child actually screams at and hits you? My first year of teaching, I did have a student who was arrested for beating his mother. I have two children of my own, and I have spanked them on occassion, especially when they have done things that put them in danger. (Things that scare me in to reacting.) My kids are still quite young (6&4) so the serious power struggles have yet to arrive, and I'm sure they will. I do, however, believe that a parent can effectively discipline a child without getting "back handed", beaten, etc. As a teacher I have never told my students that their parents could be arrested if they spank or intimidate. Some teachers may, but none that I am aware of. I don't work in the AL school district, so things may be different here.
|
|
|
|
| Post Number: 13
|
GEOKARJO
Google This!!!
Group: Members
Posts: 7799
Joined: Aug. 2003
|
|
Posted on: Aug. 02 2004,3:43 pm |
|
|
I am not saying I would back hand my child that was how I was raised. It made me think twice about screwing up and doing things I knew was wrong. I just shake my head at my daughter and walk away.
|
|
|
|
| Post Number: 14
|
lisalisa
Group: Members
Posts: 28
Joined: Aug. 2003
|
|
Posted on: Aug. 02 2004,4:05 pm |
|
|
Sorry to beg the question, Geo. But does your child scream at and hit you? Does she disregard the punishments and boundaries you set down as a parent? While you're shaking your head and walking away, she's doing a victory dance behind your back.
|
|
|
|
| Post Number: 15
|
GEOKARJO
Google This!!!
Group: Members
Posts: 7799
Joined: Aug. 2003
|
|
Posted on: Aug. 02 2004,4:12 pm |
|
|
Yes she screams and hits I am a man, she is a young woman. 15 y/o. I have involved the church at this point and working with our paster, so save your advice she is the youngest of 8 of my children and I love her dearly. She grew as much an only child cause her siblings are much older.
|
|
|
|
| Post Number: 16
|
lisalisa
Group: Members
Posts: 28
Joined: Aug. 2003
|
|
Posted on: Aug. 02 2004,4:24 pm |
|
|
I am aware of your gender. Upon rereading my last post, I don't think I was giving any advice either. However, I do now realize that you are dealing with a lot more than the standard teenage angst. I hope that with the help of your family and the church you will be able to find a way to happily coexist. Parent/child situations like the one you're going through can be the most emotionally debilitating
|
|
|
|
| Post Number: 17
|
Newbie
Group: Members
Posts: 716
Joined: Mar. 2004
|
|
Posted on: Aug. 02 2004,4:32 pm |
|
|
Lisalisa- The school system here (al) does tell the children to call the police if they're parents are mean to them. I don't think they do a good enough job explaining the difference between discipline and abuse. I don't spank. I ground and take privilages away.
--------------
People who don't like cats must have been mice in a previous life.
Never argue with an idiot; they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
|
|
|
|
| Post Number: 18
|
lisalisa
Group: Members
Posts: 28
Joined: Aug. 2003
|
|
Posted on: Aug. 02 2004,4:56 pm |
|
|
Newbie -- As a teacher, I am a mandated reporter; I have to report any situation where I believe a child may be in danger. I have had a student come to class with a swollen ear because she claims she didn't get ready quickly enough for school and her mom threw an ashtray at her. I have had a student whose drunken father screamed "stupid little f**k" at PT conferences. You are 100% correct when you say kids need to be taught the difference between abuse and discipline. But is the classroom the first place it should be taught? Parents are primary educators and have the power to enforce or negate philosophy spouted out from a teacher, friend, etc.
|
|
|
|
| Post Number: 19
|
Liberal
Group: Moderator
Posts: 11451
Joined: Aug. 2003
|
|
Posted on: Aug. 02 2004,5:13 pm |
|
|
Here's a Minnesota appeals court decision that went against a father that put a belt to his kids bare butt for not finishing his homework and acting up in school.
STATE OF MINNESOTA COURT OF APPEALS C9-01-1842
I would never do what this father did, but, I wouldn't consider it criminal either. I can see an ashtray to the head is clearly abuse, but, I'm not so sure about the leather belt. Where do you draw the line between discipline and abuse?
--------------
The people are masters of both Congress and courts, not to overthrow the Constitution, but to overthrow the men who pervert it!
|
|
|
|
| Post Number: 20
|
Newbie
Group: Members
Posts: 716
Joined: Mar. 2004
|
|
Posted on: Aug. 03 2004,12:39 am |
|
|
My point Lisalisa;
When parents doing our job at home, have schools take it upon themselves to make unclear statements about their definition of abuse and discipline it makes it harder on us to do our job right. We have to clear up any confusion the kids have and help them with trust issues. My kids don't act up in school. I'm not the parent you should be trying to convince. I have worked in the district and understand being a mandated reporter. In all honesty the kids that really need help don't get it and the ones who just want their way or attention take valuable time away from the ones that need the help and the people who are suppose to be giving the help. The system doesn't work. The parents can't be blamed for everything. Teachers spend 8hrs a day with our children. I think they have a lot of influence on them. Good and Bad.
Almost everything inappropriate or "bad" my kids have learned has been at school.
--------------
People who don't like cats must have been mice in a previous life.
Never argue with an idiot; they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
|
|
|
|
|
|
