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| Post Number: 41
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busybee 
Group: Members
Posts: 2510
Joined: May 2004
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Posted on: Dec. 17 2009,6:11 pm |
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QUOTE Well when a friend comes to you and says he caught his wife cheating and she admits it, I'd consider that a fact.
Are you saying the wife confessed to you?
QUOTE This thread IS about cheating while married and unlike some on here, I will not name names.
Other than Tiger Woods, who's name has been said?
QUOTE I bring this up for discussion about the problem of cheating in general, not about specific families based on gossip and rumors.
I responded to your comment; "What's with all the women from around Albert Lea getting caught cheating on their husbands over the past few years? It's like an epidemic or maybe it's something in the water?"
I wasn't asking for names, silly, I was responding and challenging your "specifics" about gender and location.
QUOTE Sometimes what goes on in other household's has a ripple effect to other citizens in the community.
I agree with that statement and can come up with many household situations that affect our community, but cheating isn't one of them.
Would you explain, please.
QUOTE This was sarcasm.
Yeah, I kind of figured it was. I was thrown off a bit though with the embarrass emoticon.
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| Post Number: 42
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Grinning_Dragon
rideo draconigena
Group: Members
Posts: 3095
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Dec. 18 2009,10:10 pm |
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The numbers from a recent study have already proven that women are more likely to stray then men are.
I know I will get thumped on this one.
It really IS NOT NATURAL for we human to live a monogamous lifestyle. No other animal has just one mate.
I guess it all boils down to our most basic instinct of mating.
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*SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS / MOLON LABE / Se Defendendo
memoria of cado frater ,Semper fidelis
*The object of war is NOT to DIE for YOUR Country, but to make the OTHER BASTARD DIE for HIS...Patton
My Constitutional Rights trump your dead.
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| Post Number: 43
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| Post Number: 44
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| Post Number: 45
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busybee
Group: Members
Posts: 2510
Joined: May 2004
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Posted on: Dec. 19 2009,10:49 pm |
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I found this...
"One species is absolutely monogamous. In the black darkness of the deep sea, the tiny male anglerfish (perhaps one tenth the female’s size) detects and follows the scent trail of a female of his own species. Once found, he bites his chosen one and hangs on. His skin fuses to hers, their bodies grow together (he gets his food through a common blood supply and becomes essentially a sperm producing organ). They mate for life — a short life for the male."
Poor guy!
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| Post Number: 46
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| Post Number: 47
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busybee
Group: Members
Posts: 2510
Joined: May 2004
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Posted on: Dec. 20 2009,12:03 am |
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QUOTE The numbers from a recent study have already proven that women are more likely to stray then men are.
The recent study could be 100% accurate and does knowing this change or improve anything?
I would hope that men won't assume all women will stray because of a recent study just as I hope women didn't assume all men would stray when a recent study result proved this to be true.
In my opinion, gender isn't a factor in cheating.
Male or female, if a person believes they have the right to cheat on a significant other, they are going to do it.
Some people sincerely believe they should be afforded this right to cheat because they are more special, their problems or pursuit of happiness more unique or the situation they were in when they cheated was so rare and unavoidable that they can justify this choice to their benefit.
It's a simple concept and by no means one sided because of gender.
QUOTE I know I will get thumped on this one.
It really IS NOT NATURAL for we human to live a monogamous lifestyle.
Not natural, yet possible! All it takes to be monogamous is the choice to live that way.
QUOTE No other animal has just one mate.
I guess it all boils down to our most basic instinct of mating.
For mating purposes, the human female is limited in their lifetime to reproduce.
How many other female animals participate in "pretending" to mate just for the heck of it when they know they can't reproduce any more? 
Human males are supposed to be able to reproduce for a lifetime right?
How many other male animals are attracted to female animals when the "word" gets around that she doesn't reproduce from mating?
As far as I am concerned, humans and their mating instincts are completely different from all other animals basic mating instincts.
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| Post Number: 48
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| Post Number: 49
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Grinning_Dragon
rideo draconigena
Group: Members
Posts: 3095
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Dec. 20 2009,12:48 am |
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Just a bit of history, the whole reason for one man and one woman relationships was the reduction of STDs and to provide a somewhat stable home environment all at the direction of religious leaders.
You are right in that we humans do not follow the same mating habits of other animals, as we are the only mammals on the earth that experience pleasure from the act of procreation and the act of trying  *snicker*
For women the instinct of seeking out a mate for the sole creation of better offspring and the continuance of a blood line and family survival. As for men the instinct to seek out the perfect mate that will also ensure his blood line and dominance over other males.
While we are not cavemen anymore (well a majority of us aren't ) One cannot deny any of these primal instincts that still drive us today.
I am curious to know from you and others, as to what a person is to do, while in a marriage they are withheld the simple pleasures of sex, where divorce is not really an option either do to the effects it would have on finances, family and status. Or the other partner due to a medical condition cannot perform in pleasing the other, is one simply to do without?  Is one to live the rest of their natural lives living as a celibate monk or continue being ignored by the other who would selfishly withhold sex?
Also what about those who employ the use of cuckolds or concubines?
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*SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS / MOLON LABE / Se Defendendo
memoria of cado frater ,Semper fidelis
*The object of war is NOT to DIE for YOUR Country, but to make the OTHER BASTARD DIE for HIS...Patton
My Constitutional Rights trump your dead.
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| Post Number: 50
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busybee
Group: Members
Posts: 2510
Joined: May 2004
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Posted on: Dec. 20 2009,9:28 am |
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QUOTE I am curious to know from you and others, as to what a person is to do, while in a marriage they are withheld the simple pleasures of sex, where divorce is not really an option either do to the effects it would have on finances, family and status.
Well, GD, for starters I don't think sex is always a simple pleasure.
There's awful sex, forcible sex, sloppy sex, guilt sex, sympathy sex, obligation sex, let's make a baby sex, good sex, boring sex, and over the top best ever sex.
Most of us humans want the "over the top best ever sex" every time. With the possibility of that being a fact, your "human instinct" theory can be completely tossed out the window.
As far as a significant other withholding sex and the other person not being able to see a solution to this problem and this makes them unhappy, the unhappy person needs to be accountable and responsible for their reaction and action to this.
There's no dispute that it's difficult when a significant other is selfish and self-motivated, no matter which method they choose when they target and inflict pain purposely on their partner.
I see only two choices available for the situation you described.
Change or acceptance.
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