Topic: CHEATING WHILE MARRIED.
started by: The Boss
Posted by The Boss on Aug. 13 2008,8:18 pm
Let's see how strong the marriage vows are these day's.
Posted by Spidey on Aug. 13 2008,8:33 pm
That was an easy one 
I have to wonder why you are asking though
Posted by The Boss on Aug. 13 2008,8:51 pm
Where ever you go , work , school , in the public , you hear or see more and more people cheating on their wifes/ husbands. 
Then after awhile they don't even hardly hide it. They start going out of town and then they start to get lazy and careless and start meeting in town.
Posted by singlemomx4 on Aug. 13 2008,9:03 pm
Marriage vows mean nothing to my generation! I know first hand
Posted by Spidey on Aug. 13 2008,11:48 pm
(The Boss @ Aug. 13 2008,8:51 pm)
QUOTE
Where ever you go , work , school , in the public , you hear or see more and more people cheating on their wifes/ husbands.
Then after awhile they don't even hardly hide it. They start going out of town and then they start to get lazy and careless and start meeting in town.
Then after awhile they don't even hardly hide it. They start going out of town and then they start to get lazy and careless and start meeting in town.
Maybe you are just noticing it more. I think this has been going on for many years with both men and women.
Posted by Spidey on Aug. 13 2008,11:50 pm
(singlemomx4 @ Aug. 13 2008,9:03 pm)
QUOTE
Marriage vows mean nothing to my generation! I know first hand
And what generation is that? I don't really see a difference with any of them.
Welcome to the forum singlemomx4
Posted by ICU812 on Aug. 14 2008,12:50 pm
Wish I knew if my wife voted 1,3 or 4.... 
Posted by The Boss on Aug. 14 2008,1:46 pm
ICU812.2,3,4 and your out the " Door. "
Posted by busybee on Aug. 14 2008,4:02 pm
You must first define cheating in order to answer the question. If you want me to explain the things I've heard, I will, but the whole concept of cheating can have an entirely different meaning from one person to another.
Posted by Spidey on Aug. 14 2008,4:15 pm
Everyone has their own definition of cheating. Most often spouses are well aware of their boundaries; therefore, the question would be directed to you personally and your own beliefs.
Posted by an_angels_mommy05 on Aug. 14 2008,8:32 pm
There seems to be a lot of open marriages now day and people rush into marriage before they know for sure that that is what they want in their lives. just my opinion
Posted by hairhertz on Aug. 15 2008,8:20 am
IMHO cheaters usually cheat many times before they are caught
Posted by Common Citizen on Aug. 15 2008,2:07 pm
^ speaking from experience, HH?
Posted by Merlyn on Aug. 15 2008,4:01 pm
Must have been some cheating here. $25,500.00 forempty condom packet and the "tarts" panties!
< Ebay Auction >
Posted by hairhertz on Aug. 15 2008,11:57 pm
(hairhertz @ Aug. 15 2008,8:20 am)
QUOTE
IMHO cheaters usually cheat many times before they are caught
We all know a couple guys/gals who live to score.
Not me of course, I couldn't handle the guilt.
Posted by bianca on Aug. 20 2008,10:57 am
QUOTE
Not me of course, I couldn't handle the guilt.
When it is sooo easy to break up/divorce these days, why would/do people cheat? It breaks up so many homes and it's usually the kids that suffer. In small towns everybody knows your business including the kids.
IMO, a very selfish narcissistic person chooses to cheat....and it IS a choice.
Posted by Common Citizen on Aug. 20 2008,1:39 pm
QUOTE
IMO, a very selfish
Definitely a selfish act, but maybe the cheating spouse is finally doing something for themselves for a change instead of for the family...
Posted by bianca on Aug. 21 2008,10:27 am
The world may never know
Posted by Botto 82 on Aug. 21 2008,11:37 pm
(hairhertz @ Aug. 15 2008,8:20 am)
QUOTE
IMHO cheaters usually cheat many times before they are caught
This is pretty common across-the-board Human behaviour, be it DWI's, shoplifters, liars, and on and on.
Posted by scary on Dec. 11 2009,12:58 am
I did not start cheating until after i was divorced
Posted by scary on Dec. 11 2009,1:14 am
(Botto 82 @ Aug. 21 2008,11:37 pm)
QUOTE
(hairhertz @ Aug. 15 2008,8:20 am)
QUOTE
IMHO cheaters usually cheat many times before they are caught
This is pretty common across-the-board Human behaviour, be it DWI's, shoplifters, liars, and on and on.
Was there a screw up
I have been gone for a while
I am replying to a reply from aug 2008 that is a current topic?
Posted by Expatriate on Dec. 11 2009,9:29 am
karma, what goes around comes around, while cheaters seem to prevail in today's society they're accompanied by a host of STDs, the heartache you've caused today may be yours for a lifetime, karma...
Posted by busybee on Dec. 11 2009,9:49 pm
QUOTE
karma, what goes around comes around, while cheaters seem to prevail in today's society they're accompanied by a host of STDs, the heartache you've caused today may be yours for a lifetime, karma...
KARMA: noun
1. Hinduism & Buddhism The total effect of a person's actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person's existence, regarded as determining the person's destiny.
2. Fate; destiny.
3. Informal A distinctive aura, atmosphere, or feeling: There's bad karma around the house today.
ETYMOLOGY:
Sanskrit, deed, action that has consequences, karma; see kwer- in Indo-European roots
I guess if you believe in the "karma" philosophy, it might be wise to recognize the most important basic flaw that exists about it; Some people take the deliverance of "karma" onto another into their own hands.
When this happens, the word "karma" is replaced with the word, "revenge."
Posted by Expatriate on Dec. 11 2009,9:59 pm
Elin Maria Pernilla Nordegren seems to create her own type of karma...to death do us part..
Posted by busybee on Dec. 11 2009,10:06 pm
And...??? Explain a little more what you are trying to imply...please. Thanks much.
Posted by Expatriate on Dec. 11 2009,10:10 pm
QUOTE
When this happens, the word "karma" is replaced with the word, "revenge."
Posted by busybee on Dec. 12 2009,5:49 pm
Do you believe revenge is justified?
Posted by Grinning_Dragon on Dec. 12 2009,6:02 pm
(busybee @ Dec. 12 2009,5:49 pm)
QUOTE
Do you believe revenge is justified?
sometimes...
Posted by Expatriate on Dec. 12 2009,10:38 pm
(busybee @ Dec. 12 2009,5:49 pm)
QUOTE
Do you believe revenge is justified?
For me on a personal level no, I don't believe revenge would make anything better, not even revenge sex..
As for the Woods, infidelity is extremely painful within a marriage, Tiger's wife may have assaulted him, she may have gained momentary pleasure from her revenge but it will be mere fodder for the attorneys..Tiger's karma awaits him...
Posted by busybee on Dec. 13 2009,1:50 pm
Ok...Grinning Dragon...I'll bite the hook. 
When do you think revenge is sometimes justified?
Posted by busybee on Dec. 13 2009,2:49 pm
QUOTE
For me on a personal level no, I don't believe revenge would make anything better, not even revenge sex..
What the heck...
"revenge sex?" Anyone who would choose to do that obviously was in dire need of professional help prior to being cheated on. Rational thinking people don't and won't suddenly change their character/personality/behaviors and make a choice like that.QUOTE
As for the Woods, infidelity is extremely painful within a marriage, Tiger's wife may have assaulted him, she may have gained momentary pleasure from her revenge but it will be mere fodder for the attorneys..Tiger's karma awaits him...
Infidelity is painful, no doubt, and appears to be the most heavily used "excuse" for acts of domestic crime, on-going harassment, revenge in many forms, ect...
The fact is, the heartache caused from infidelity is manageable and is temporary, if the person cheated on chooses to be responsible for their own reactions and actions to the emotional pain they feel.
Posted by Expatriate on Dec. 13 2009,10:02 pm
QUOTE
What the heck... "revenge sex?" Anyone who would choose to do that obviously was in dire need of professional help prior to being cheated on. Rational thinking people don't and won't suddenly change their character/personality/behaviors and make a choice like that.
I did say it wouldn't be for me, it seems a little self-destructive..because your partner has lowered his/her morals doesn't mean you have to degrade yourself..
QUOTE
Infidelity is painful, no doubt, and appears to be the most heavily used "excuse" for acts of domestic crime, on-going harassment, revenge in many forms, ect...
Many of these situations result in suicides or homicides, I don't have facts or figures but the statistics speak for themselves in the news we receive everyday..
I really wouldn't call infidelity an excuse for domestic violence, but the husband/wife who commits this type of activity (infidelity) cares little for their mates emotional well-being and there's no excuse for their actions..
QUOTE
The fact is, the heartache caused from infidelity is manageable and is temporary, if the person cheated on chooses to be responsible for their own reactions and actions to the emotional pain they feel.
True there are some that can forgive and forget and go on to lasting meaningful relationships with their partner...
You seem to be defending promiscuity, or are you subconsciously defending your own misdeeds??
Posted by busybee on Dec. 15 2009,10:08 pm
QUOTE
I did say it wouldn't be for me,
I didn't say it would be for you.
QUOTE
it seems a little self-destructive..because your partner has lowered his/her morals doesn't mean you have to degrade yourself..
Exactly!
It's self destructive to cheat because of any poor choice made by a significant other.
QUOTE
Many of these situations result in suicides or homicides, I don't have facts or figures but the statistics speak for themselves in the news we receive everyday..
I agree, that's what some "victims" of infidelity tell everyone and that society, the news and the legal system tell to be the "end result" of infidelity.
So, why doesn't everyone who's been cheated on threaten or follow through with suicide, homicide or both?
And, is it fair to assume that if a "victim" of infidelity appears to be so pain stricken that they threaten to kill themselves or someone else or follow through with their threat, that they actually have been cheated on?
Why does the news, legal system and society choose to look for infidelity and promote discussion about it when a person uses or threatens violence towards others or upon themselves?
Is it possible that as a society, we have been taught and learned to view "infidelity" as more "criminal" than real crimes committed by one human being upon another involved or suspected to be involved in a "love triangle?"
QUOTE
I really wouldn't call infidelity an excuse for domestic violence, but the husband/wife who commits this type of activity (infidelity) cares little for their mates emotional well-being and there's no excuse for their actions..
I didn't state that infidelity is ever excusable.
In my opinion, a person should ALWAYS end a relationship before they choose to engage in sexual acts with someone else. No exceptions apply. People are WRONG to blame their choice to cheat on anyone or anything else.
Further, if a person knows their significant other is cheating on them and this makes them unhappy, they should take responsibility for their unhappiness and end the relationship. No exceptions apply. People are WRONG to blame their choice to accept the cheating on anyone or anything else.
There are also the people who don't accept the cheating, end the relationship, and seeks revenge and punishment for "their pain." People are WRONG to blame their inability to manage the anger and hurt on someone or something else.
And last, there are the "accusers" of infidelity. They are the ones who assume cheating or "falling in love" with someone else can be the ONLY reason their partner would want out of the relationship with them.
These accusers seek revenge and punishment solely on their inability to believe they could have any part in the deterioration of the relationship. They attempt to convince and "justify" their every vindictive/self-serving decision (themselves and others) based upon their "thoughts" instead of "facts." Thus a "faithful partner" can be wrongfully accused and punished for NO REASON!
In discussing Tiger Wood's infidelity, according to the "media" reports, I think he's a serial cheater.
I hope his wife ends the relationship, no matter his apology and promises to change. It is rare for a partner to change and be sincerely sorry when they display a repetitive pattern of choice that are destructive to the relationship.
QUOTE
True there are some that can forgive and forget and go on to lasting meaningful relationships with their partner...
As a society we "expect" that's what's happened if a couple is still together after one of them has cheated.
It doesn't matter if the one who has been cheated on stays with the one who cheated or begins a different relationship. If the victim of infidelity chooses not to manage their own emotional reaction to being cheated on, they will be miserable as will the cheating partner, cheating ex-partner, or new and different partner.
QUOTE
You seem to be defending promiscuity, or are you subconsciously defending your own misdeeds??
I have no "misdeeds" to defend.
Are you planning on creating some misdeeds for me so I can defend them for you?
Posted by Grinning_Dragon on Dec. 15 2009,10:16 pm
(busybee @ Dec. 13 2009,1:50 pm)
QUOTE
Ok...Grinning Dragon...I'll bite the hook.
When do you think revenge is sometimes justified?
When do you think revenge is sometimes justified?
When you ask.
Lets see, when my stupid supervisor ticks me off with dumb inanities that can wait until the current project I am on is finished. I will put into motion a series of problems that will get him called on it and make him feel worthless. Ahhh, revenge a dish best served cold.
My revenge is more of a character assassination.
Revenge does have its place when the scales of justice has been tampered with as well.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 15 2009,10:26 pm
QUOTE
When you ask.
Of course I should have seen that one coming!
QUOTE
Lets see, when my stupid supervisor ticks me off with dumb inanities that can wait until the current project I am on is finished. I will put into motion a series of problems that will get him called on it and make him feel worthless. Ahhh, revenge a dish best served cold.
Is this based on facts? I would assume so...therefore, it's not revenge when you point out the obvious and are attempting to get someone to be accountable for their own job.
QUOTE
My revenge is more of a character assassination.
That's too bad. It can get you into trouble if you don't know the character you assassin.
QUOTE
Revenge does have its place when the scales of justice has been tampered with as well.
That seems to be most important if the person seeking revenge (I would hope it's really JUSTICE) is the defendant.
Posted by Grinning_Dragon on Dec. 15 2009,10:43 pm
Oh I know exactly who I am messing with and it really isn't that much of a challenge. The idiot shouldn't be in that position anyways, and the sooner he is toppled from his pedestal the better.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 16 2009,8:46 am
QUOTE
Oh I know exactly who I am messing with and it really isn't that much of a challenge.
Well, that's good...I guess.
QUOTE
The idiot shouldn't be in that position anyways, and the sooner he is toppled from his pedestal the better.
How did he get in that position if he's an idiot?
Did you know he was an idiot and if so, than how come he is in that position if you had prior knowledge that he shouldn't be?
If you didn't know he was an idiot and now recognize his idiocy, how come you haven't been able to get him toppled from his pedestal yet?
Are you sure what you are talking about is revenge instead of your ability to know the difference between right and wrong, the truth and a lie, hard work and laziness, integrity and power plays?
Exposing someone who is a lazy, self-motivated, manipulating con who lacks responsibility and accountability is not revenge, especially if their poor choices in a position of power and authority affect the well-being and rights of others.
Posted by Common Citizen on Dec. 16 2009,12:30 pm
What's with all the women from around Albert Lea getting caught cheating on their husbands over the past few years? It's like an epidemic or maybe it's something in the water? That priviledge use to be reserved for the married men. My how times have changed.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 16 2009,9:15 pm
QUOTE
What's with all the women from around Albert Lea getting caught cheating on their husbands over the past few years? It's like an epidemic or maybe it's something in the water?
I suppose "common citizens" probably do think think they know the facts about everyone else's lives.
I'm glad to be a "busybee" because I don't have the time to worry about what goes on in anyone else's hive, just my own.
QUOTE
That priviledge use to be reserved for the married men. My how times have changed.
Cheating isn't a reserved privilege for women or men.
Posted by Common Citizen on Dec. 17 2009,10:38 am
QUOTE
I suppose "common citizens" probably do think think they know the facts about everyone else's lives.
Well when a friend comes to you and says he caught his wife cheating and she admits it, I'd consider that a fact.
QUOTE
I'm glad to be a "busybee" because I don't have the time to worry about what goes on in anyone else's hive, just my own.
This thread IS about cheating while married and unlike some on here, I will not name names. I bring this up for discussion about the problem of cheating in general, not about specific families based on gossip and rumors. Sometimes what goes on in other household's has a ripple effect to other citizens in the community.
QUOTE
Cheating isn't a reserved privilege for women or men.
This was sarcasm.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 17 2009,6:11 pm
QUOTE
Well when a friend comes to you and says he caught his wife cheating and she admits it, I'd consider that a fact.
Are you saying the wife confessed to you?
QUOTE
This thread IS about cheating while married and unlike some on here, I will not name names.
Other than Tiger Woods, who's name has been said?
QUOTE
I bring this up for discussion about the problem of cheating in general, not about specific families based on gossip and rumors.
I responded to your comment; "What's with all the women from around Albert Lea getting caught cheating on their husbands over the past few years? It's like an epidemic or maybe it's something in the water?"
I wasn't asking for names, silly, I was responding and challenging your "specifics" about gender and location.
QUOTE
Sometimes what goes on in other household's has a ripple effect to other citizens in the community.
I agree with that statement and can come up with many household situations that affect our community, but cheating isn't one of them.
Would you explain, please.
QUOTE
This was sarcasm.
Yeah, I kind of figured it was. I was thrown off a bit though with the embarrass emoticon.
Posted by Grinning_Dragon on Dec. 18 2009,10:10 pm
The numbers from a recent study have already proven that women are more likely to stray then men are.I know I will get thumped on this one.
It really IS NOT NATURAL for we human to live a monogamous lifestyle. No other animal has just one mate.
I guess it all boils down to our most basic instinct of mating.
Posted by Glad I Left on Dec. 19 2009,10:01 am
QUOTE
No other animal has just one mate.
American Bald Eagles do. Although, if one is widowed it will move on to another.
< http://www.baldeagleinfo.com/eagle/eagle4.html >
< http://www.dvercity.com/bald_eagles.html >
Geese are also on the list.
Not sayin' just sayin.
Why on earth one would want to put up with multiple nagging wives/partners is beyond me
Posted by Grinning_Dragon on Dec. 19 2009,11:23 am
(Glad I Left @ Dec. 19 2009,10:01 am)
QUOTE
QUOTE
No other animal has just one mate.
American Bald Eagles do. Although, if one is widowed it will move on to another.
< http://www.baldeagleinfo.com/eagle/eagle4.html >
< http://www.dvercity.com/bald_eagles.html >
Geese are also on the list.
Not sayin' just sayin.
Why on earth one would want to put up with multiple nagging wives/partners is beyond me
sorry bro but that is not true either, an Eagle will have other mates as well, same with geese. It was one of those wives tales that was debunked by 20 yrs of migration research at taxpayer expense of course.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 19 2009,10:49 pm
I found this..."One species is absolutely monogamous. In the black darkness of the deep sea, the tiny male anglerfish (perhaps one tenth the female’s size) detects and follows the scent trail of a female of his own species. Once found, he bites his chosen one and hangs on. His skin fuses to hers, their bodies grow together (he gets his food through a common blood supply and becomes essentially a sperm producing organ). They mate for life — a short life for the male."
Poor guy!
Posted by Grinning_Dragon on Dec. 19 2009,11:14 pm
(busybee @ Dec. 19 2009,10:49 pm)
QUOTE
I found this...
"One species is absolutely monogamous. In the black darkness of the deep sea, the tiny male anglerfish (perhaps one tenth the female’s size) detects and follows the scent trail of a female of his own species. Once found, he bites his chosen one and hangs on. His skin fuses to hers, their bodies grow together (he gets his food through a common blood supply and becomes essentially a sperm producing organ). They mate for life — a short life for the male."
Poor guy!
"One species is absolutely monogamous. In the black darkness of the deep sea, the tiny male anglerfish (perhaps one tenth the female’s size) detects and follows the scent trail of a female of his own species. Once found, he bites his chosen one and hangs on. His skin fuses to hers, their bodies grow together (he gets his food through a common blood supply and becomes essentially a sperm producing organ). They mate for life — a short life for the male."
Poor guy!
Boy what a way to go eh?
Just as bad as the heart attack mouse.
Just goes to the old adage, women are the death of men.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 20 2009,12:03 am
QUOTE
The numbers from a recent study have already proven that women are more likely to stray then men are.
The recent study could be 100% accurate and does knowing this change or improve anything?
I would hope that men won't assume all women will stray because of a recent study just as I hope women didn't assume all men would stray when a recent study result proved this to be true.
In my opinion, gender isn't a factor in cheating.
Male or female, if a person believes they have the right to cheat on a significant other, they are going to do it.
Some people sincerely believe they should be afforded this right to cheat because they are more special, their problems or pursuit of happiness more unique or the situation they were in when they cheated was so rare and unavoidable that they can justify this choice to their benefit.
It's a simple concept and by no means one sided because of gender.
QUOTE
I know I will get thumped on this one.
It really IS NOT NATURAL for we human to live a monogamous lifestyle.
It really IS NOT NATURAL for we human to live a monogamous lifestyle.
Not natural, yet possible! All it takes to be monogamous is the choice to live that way.
QUOTE
No other animal has just one mate.
I guess it all boils down to our most basic instinct of mating.
I guess it all boils down to our most basic instinct of mating.
For mating purposes, the human female is limited in their lifetime to reproduce.
How many other female animals participate in "pretending" to mate just for the heck of it when they know they can't reproduce any more?
Human males are supposed to be able to reproduce for a lifetime right?
How many other male animals are attracted to female animals when the "word" gets around that she doesn't reproduce from mating?
As far as I am concerned, humans and their mating instincts are completely different from all other animals basic mating instincts.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 20 2009,12:07 am
QUOTE
Boy what a way to go eh?
Just as bad as the heart attack mouse.
Just goes to the old adage, women are the death of men.
Just as bad as the heart attack mouse.
Just goes to the old adage, women are the death of men.
Yep, sperm donors, beware!
Posted by Grinning_Dragon on Dec. 20 2009,12:48 am
Just a bit of history, the whole reason for one man and one woman relationships was the reduction of STDs and to provide a somewhat stable home environment all at the direction of religious leaders.You are right in that we humans do not follow the same mating habits of other animals, as we are the only mammals on the earth that experience pleasure from the act of procreation and the act of trying
*snicker*For women the instinct of seeking out a mate for the sole creation of better offspring and the continuance of a blood line and family survival. As for men the instinct to seek out the perfect mate that will also ensure his blood line and dominance over other males.
While we are not cavemen anymore (well a majority of us aren't
) One cannot deny any of these primal instincts that still drive us today. I am curious to know from you and others, as to what a person is to do, while in a marriage they are withheld the simple pleasures of sex, where divorce is not really an option either do to the effects it would have on finances, family and status. Or the other partner due to a medical condition cannot perform in pleasing the other, is one simply to do without?
Is one to live the rest of their natural lives living as a celibate monk or continue being ignored by the other who would selfishly withhold sex?Also what about those who employ the use of cuckolds or concubines?
Posted by busybee on Dec. 20 2009,9:28 am
QUOTE
I am curious to know from you and others, as to what a person is to do, while in a marriage they are withheld the simple pleasures of sex, where divorce is not really an option either do to the effects it would have on finances, family and status.
Well, GD, for starters I don't think sex is always a simple pleasure.
There's awful sex, forcible sex, sloppy sex, guilt sex, sympathy sex, obligation sex, let's make a baby sex, good sex, boring sex, and over the top best ever sex.
Most of us humans want the "over the top best ever sex" every time. With the possibility of that being a fact, your "human instinct" theory can be completely tossed out the window.
As far as a significant other withholding sex and the other person not being able to see a solution to this problem and this makes them unhappy, the unhappy person needs to be accountable and responsible for their reaction and action to this.
There's no dispute that it's difficult when a significant other is selfish and self-motivated, no matter which method they choose when they target and inflict pain purposely on their partner.
I see only two choices available for the situation you described.
Change or acceptance.
Posted by Grinning_Dragon on Dec. 20 2009,6:38 pm
Change or acceptance eh? Sex either for pleasure or procreation is a very vital process in keeping the relationship healthy. I do not begrudge a person going outside of their matrimonial vows if the other is withholding, it is not natural to assume that someone has to accept the fact the other partner is no longer interested in sex nor is it natural to go without sex. There are so many health benefits that come from copious amounts of sex, as well as keeping the relationship strong between husband and wife.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 20 2009,11:09 pm
QUOTE
Sex either for pleasure or procreation is a very vital process in keeping the relationship healthy.
I agree.
QUOTE
I do not begrudge a person going outside of their matrimonial vows if the other is withholding, it is not natural to assume that someone has to accept the fact the other partner is no longer interested in sex nor is it natural to go without sex.
I guess you assumed that the word "acceptance" meant a person should go without sex and sacrifice themselves for a lifetime marriage.
I'm sorry I didn't explain what my use of the word acceptance meant. I'll get back to you on that later.
QUOTE
There are so many health benefits that come from copious amounts of sex, as well as keeping the relationship strong between husband and wife.
Once again, I agree.
Posted by Common Citizen on Dec. 21 2009,9:15 am
[quote=busybee,Dec. 17 2009,6:11 pm][/quote]QUOTE
QUOTE
Well when a friend comes to you and says he caught his wife cheating and she admits it, I'd consider that a fact.
Are you saying the wife confessed to you?
Uh, no? notice how I use the term "he" in the quote you're referring to.
QUOTE
QUOTE
This thread IS about cheating while married and unlike some on here, I will not name names.
Other than Tiger Woods, who's name has been said?
I should have been more specific, but it didn't really matter at the time. I was referring to the forum in general.
QUOTE
QUOTE
Sometimes what goes on in other household's has a ripple effect to other citizens in the community.
I agree with that statement and can come up with many household situations that affect our community, but cheating isn't one of them.
Would you explain, please.
You realy don't believe that cheating can have an affect on a community? I believe that cheating usually leads to divorce which has finanacial reperccusions on the entire family. It can also take an emotional toll on the kids and even the parents. This emotional toll on the adults can lead to less productivity in the work force because they are distracted by their emotions, legal issues, etc... Look at the toll it has taken on Tigar Woods? How much money do you think he's lost since this all blew open. Bad for him but financially good for her. His cheating has been a positive boon for the gossip industry and all the people they employ. So yes, I would say it has an affect on the community, either good or bad. Depending on what side of the fence you're on.
Posted by Liberal on Dec. 21 2009,2:08 pm
It's hard to believe that people wouldn't think it has a toll on the community. One of the biggest reasons I didn't re-enlist as an MP was because once I became an NCO I seemed to deal with nothing but domestic disputes all day long. My whole shift seemed to be running from one end of post to the other, dealing with their crap, and the vast majority of the time those disputes involved infidelity.If you listen to the scanner here in Albert Lea they are continually dealing with the same crap, and every time they're at a domestic we're paying for it. Not to mention that it causes us to need a larger police force.
Posted by GEOKARJO on Dec. 21 2009,2:42 pm
Attention Whores is what we used to call them.
Posted by Grinning_Dragon on Dec. 21 2009,4:09 pm
Well no wonder you couldn't hack it as an MP, you lead with your emotions and you let it bother you. But I am sure if you ask your false prophet obummernaught real nice he can make domestic disputes a thing of the past by adding it to your health bill. Because after all the solution would be to throw some money at the problem.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 23 2009,7:24 pm
QUOTE
Uh, no? notice how I use the term "he" in the quote you're referring to.
I asked because if the wife didn't tell you herself also, how do you know your friend, the husband is telling the truth?
QUOTE
You realy don't believe that cheating can have an affect on a community?
Right.
QUOTE
I believe that cheating usually leads to divorce which has finanacial reperccusions on the entire family.
Cheating does not lead to divorce and divorce does not lead to financial repercussions on the entire family...an irresponsible and emotionally irrational thinking adult does.
QUOTE
It can also take an emotional toll on the kids and even the parents.
Cheating is exclusively an ADULT CHOICE and something PARENTS need to deal with as ADULTS if they experience an "emotional toll" and should NEVER involve their children!
QUOTE
This emotional toll on the adults can lead to less productivity in the work force because they are distracted by their emotions, legal issues, etc...
I'm sorry I can't wrap my mind around this one, especially considering that when I speak of domestic abuse/violence in general or how this affects MY children and OUR family unit, and the affect of this has on communities, I've been told there's something WRONG with doing this or am degraded because I choose to speak out.
I have not cared to discuss my children's other parent's infidelity because it pales in comparison to the abusive and violent choices he made and continues to make that has an "emotional toll."
QUOTE
Look at the toll it has taken on Tigar Woods? How much money do you think he's lost since this all blew open.
If Tiger Woods wasn't a publicized sports figure his income potential would not be affected. As far as I know, employers who discover they have a confirmed marital cheater on their payroll, don't fire them on the spot, reduce their income, nor do they care if they "repent" the wrong-doing to their significant other or our society.
QUOTE
Bad for him but financially good for her.
Why do you say that? Is he obligated to give her MORE money and provide her with more marital assets because of his infidelity?
QUOTE
His cheating has been a positive boon for the gossip industry and all the people they employ. So yes, I would say it has an affect on the community, either good or bad. Depending on what side of the fence you're on.
I don't think Tiger Woods is a fair comparison of a marital cheating example and the affects this has.
Posted by Botto 82 on Dec. 23 2009,7:52 pm
(Liberal @ Dec. 21 2009,2:08 pm)
QUOTE
If you listen to the scanner here in Albert Lea they are continually dealing with the same crap, and every time they're at a domestic we're paying for it. Not to mention that it causes us to need a larger police force.
But if we cut police officers, eventually a domestic will go south, and someone ends up dead, and the liberal-minded among us bemoan the fact that the cops couldn't get there quick enough to save some so-and-so that probably shouldn't have been breeding in the first place. So, we send cops to every scuffle and shouting match. (This was not an endorsement of abuse, and should not be construed as such.)
This whole damn country needs a shot of collectivism, and a couple rounds of anger management.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 23 2009,8:29 pm
QUOTE
It's hard to believe that people wouldn't think it has a toll on the community.
Cheating or accusations of cheating do not affect a community. It's one adult's reaction to "valid" cheating or "invalid" cheating that can.
QUOTE
One of the biggest reasons I didn't re-enlist as an MP was because once I became an NCO I seemed to deal with nothing but domestic disputes all day long. My whole shift seemed to be running from one end of post to the other, dealing with their crap, and the vast majority of the time those disputes involved infidelity.
How can you blame infidelity for domestic disputes when you most likely wouldn't have observed the PROOF?
QUOTE
If you listen to the scanner here in Albert Lea they are continually dealing with the same crap, and every time they're at a domestic we're paying for it. Not to mention that it causes us to need a larger police force.
This is NOT the fault of infidelity.
MATURE RESPONSIBLE ADULTS will CHOOSE to end the significant other relationship when they discover infidelity or have convinced themselves their partner is having an affair.
Any rational thinking human being can walk away from emotionally intense pain when a threat to the safety of their children or themselves is not at stake.
Infidelity is threatening to a person's ego, pride, and social status, not their life, liberty or future pursuit of happiness.
It's when a significant other believes they have the RIGHT to punish the other for cheating or believes they have a RIGHT to punish the other because they have convinced themselves the other is cheating that domestic disputes requiring law enforcement assistance is needed.
Infidelity, fact or fiction, is a "moral" crime, not a "real" crime. Once society, law enforcement, the legal system and media realize this instead of blaming acts of real crime for it, nothing will change.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 23 2009,8:35 pm
QUOTE
Attention Whores is what we used to call them.
Geo...I'm disappointed you would label women like this.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 23 2009,10:11 pm
QUOTE
Well no wonder you couldn't hack it as an MP, you lead with your emotions and you let it bother you.
You are assuming to KNOW if Liberal was effective as an MP in dealing with domestic disputes.
Were you there and did his job performance impact you directly?
QUOTE
But I am sure if you ask your false prophet obummernaught real nice he can make domestic disputes a thing of the past by adding it to your health bill. Because after all the solution would be to throw some money at the problem.
Obama doesn't have that much control over Liberal or the problem you mention!
The "evil doers" in American Society are " sex cheaters."
If a significant other murder's their partner or ex-partner and/or the "other person" because they caught them cheating, isn't it typical of people to say the murderer might not have committed this crime if they weren't in emotional pain and distress from being cheated on?
I also hear this same reason for why a significant other would beat, rape, threaten to harm, financially punish, harass, stalk, and degrade their partner or "other person."
I whole-heartedly agree that a significant other has the RIGHT to faithfulness, however, I WILL NEVER AGREE that the disrespect of this right gives them the RIGHT to harm, threaten harm or pursue revenge because of it.
If someone lets you down, betrays you, or hurts your feelings because they had sex with someone other than YOU, you are NOT justified to hurt them, threaten to hurt them or punish them by making them miserable for the rest of their life.
And NO ONE on the outside looking in knows if the person who claims they've been cheated on and also believes they are justified to harm, threaten to harm or punish for infidelity, is telling the TRUTH!
Like I already stated in a previous post, infidelity is NOT an EXCUSE or JUSTIFICATION for sick or irrational behavioral choices!
Normal and logical thinking people who find infidelity unacceptable to them will walk away with dignity and respect for themselves and their children, their own choices and reaction to infidelity (or wrongfully accused infidelity) and pursue their right to be with a partner who has the same values as they do or choose to live alone rather than with someone who doesn't own the same morals and values.
Posted by Grinning_Dragon on Dec. 23 2009,10:39 pm
BusyBee- I was just razzing Lib and trying to get a rise outta him but he didn't play. But he does let his emotions lead his decisions then factor in facts and logic. That is how I interpret his posting and the general feeling I get.He likes to spar and I like that too.
I do give him props and a big salute for serving in our fine Armed Services. We have a person in our office that thinks and formulates arguments like Lib does and it gets heated but its all cool and quite good because life would be a POS if we all thought the same way, gots to have some spice in life.
Other than that I really do not care if someone cheats while married, that is their cross to bare. This whole Tiger Woods crap is just that crap. I mean really who cares.
Posted by Botto 82 on Dec. 23 2009,11:16 pm
(Grinning_Dragon @ Dec. 23 2009,10:39 pm)
QUOTE
[...]I really do not care if someone cheats while married, that is their cross to bare. This whole Tiger Woods crap is just that crap. I mean really who cares.
Entertainment Tonight
The Insider
TMZ
People
The National Enquirer
Etc.
And idiots by the millions suck that crapola up.
Like I said earlier: Wanna save the planet? Turn off your TV's and think for yourselves.
Posted by Grinning_Dragon on Dec. 23 2009,11:33 pm
You are right Botto, people do seem to be caught up in crap like that and live vicariously through their stars, as if it also effects them directly when SHTF. Guess that is why they call it the idiot box.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 24 2009,9:24 am
QUOTE
But if we cut police officers, eventually a domestic will go south, and someone ends up dead, and the liberal-minded among us bemoan the fact that the cops couldn't get there quick enough to save some so-and-so that probably shouldn't have been breeding in the first place.
So, we send cops to every scuffle and shouting match. (This was not an endorsement of abuse, and should not be construed as such.)
So, we send cops to every scuffle and shouting match. (This was not an endorsement of abuse, and should not be construed as such.)
When discussing infidelity, fact or fiction, in general society encourages the right of the the cheated on "victim" to retaliate in any way they choose.
This form of empathizing with infidelity victims isn't logical when the fact is the "victim" can choose to be capable and responsible for dealing with their emotional pain instead of making the situation worse by retaliating against the cheater and involving their families, friends, and community.
I agree it's ridiculous for law enforcement to have to assist in stopping a real or imagined victim of infidelity from retaliating against their cheater. Once infidelity and real or wrongfully accused cheaters aren't viewed as CREATING and MAKING someone react and act like this, only then can things change. (This is not an infidelity endorsement and should not be construed as such.)
In my opinion it will NEVER be the amount of law enforcement availability and response time that prevents "domestics" from going south.
QUOTE
This whole damn country needs a shot of collectivism, and a couple rounds of anger management.
I think anger management is one of those, "we can fix the problem and feel good about trying to do it" concepts of thinking.
We can't "fix people" when they have no desire to be fixed or can pretend they are being fixed, therefore we can't assume they are "fixed" if they completed a couple rounds of anger management.
Posted by irisheyes on Dec. 24 2009,9:50 am
(Botto 82 @ Dec. 23 2009,7:52 pm)
QUOTE
But if we cut police officers, eventually a domestic will go south, and someone ends up dead, and the liberal-minded among us bemoan the fact that the cops couldn't get there quick enough to save some so-and-so that probably shouldn't have been breeding in the first place. So, we send cops to every scuffle and shouting match. (This was not an endorsement of abuse, and should not be construed as such.)
We could have twice as many cops, and I don't see what difference it will make. If someone is going to kill you, 911 might as well be dial a prayer.
Everyone seems to think cutting one cop is going to turn Albert Lea into Compton overnight. Don't any of you realize that if the police department had 40 cops right now the chief would still say that every last one of them was essential, and they were already short staffed, yadda yadda yadda.
No department is ever going to tell you they can be cut without much impact happening.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 24 2009,10:08 am
QUOTE
Other than that I really do not care if someone cheats while married, that is their cross to bare. This whole Tiger Woods crap is just that crap. I mean really who cares.
Absolutely agree!
QUOTE
And idiots by the millions suck that crapola up.
Like I said earlier: Wanna save the planet? Turn off your TV's and think for yourselves.
Like I said earlier: Wanna save the planet? Turn off your TV's and think for yourselves.
And for the most part, the majority of people won't challenge the lack of logic in their own thinking about infidelity because they've been socialized not to. Therefore, they will justify and excuse any and all retaliation reactions and actions chosen by a "victim" of infidelity, when the fact is, there are wiser choices that can be made instead.
Posted by Liberal on Dec. 24 2009,3:47 pm
QUOTE
BusyBee- I was just razzing Lib and trying to get a rise outta him but he didn't play. But he does let his emotions lead his decisions then factor in facts and logic. That is how I interpret his posting and the general feeling I get.
He likes to spar and I like that too.
You really can't take it very seriously, to be honest I plan on spending Christmas with a LTF clan member Death. Were both ditching the family and meeting at my house for Assassin's Creed 2, Borderlands, and Call of Juarez on the Ps3.
Posted by CARS on Dec. 28 2009,1:37 am
Busybee, it does affect the community when the community is small and it is a city official cheating.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 29 2009,12:53 am
How is "marital cheating" a community problem if the person is a city official?
Posted by Botto 82 on Dec. 29 2009,10:46 am
Do you not take some sort of oath of office when you become a city official? If that's the case, and you're cheating on your spouse, it looks like you need work on that whole oath business.
Posted by busybee on Dec. 29 2009,7:10 pm
Are you claiming that government officials make an oath to be faithful to their significant other as part of their oath to public citizens? This ties in very well with this thread...
First of all, significant others accuse their mates of cheating all the time, whether it's true or false.
"Cheating" should be one of those concepts that is "innocent until proven guilty," by society, but it rarely is ever seen that way and as far as I know, it's not a CRIME.
Morally it's wrong, but a CRIME? No.
Is it society's business? No.
However...
Society supports the female who refuses to give the male any of his personal property or equally split common/household property and rakes him over the coals (so to speak) and does everything under the sun to prevent him from seeing his children and/or makes his children dislike him...because she says he cheated.
Society supports the male who refuses to give the female any of her personal property or equally split common/household property, and rakes her over the coals (so to speak) and does everything under the sun to prevent her from seeing her children and/or makes her children dislike her...because he says she cheated.
Society supports and empathizes with the male or female if they choose violence directed at the accused "cheater" or the "other person."
I think "cheating" is way over-rated in our society as an "end that justifies the means" excuse for domestic crimes, putting children through hell, financial punishment, parental alienation, all of which creates unnecessary problems and costs to law enforcement and the court system.
A city official, a doctor or a citizen in your community, etc... is NOT OBLIGATED to be faithful to their significant other for YOUR well-being and comfort level.
No one has the right to assume to know the FACTS about an accused "cheater."
No one has the right to accuse someone such as a city official or a doctor to not be capable of competency or honesty in their job because they hear a rumor they're cheating on their significant other.
No one has the right to assume or make a parent bad to their children or others because they cheated or heard a rumor they cheated on the other parent.
Significant other cheating is NOT a SOCIAL ISSUE!
Posted by Expatriate on Mar. 19 2010,9:12 am
Michelle McGee says she’s been shagging Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James. McGee claims she hooked up with James after responding to an advert for models for his motorcycle company West Coast Choppers.This gal's got more tats than the fifth fleet, eeeeuw what was James thinking..
< http://www.anorak.co.uk/242768...es.html >
Posted by hairhertz on Mar. 19 2010,9:55 am
There sure going to be a lot of funny looking wrinkled old ladies in rest homes in a couple decades.
Posted by Expatriate on Mar. 20 2010,7:54 am
Bimbo-
Posted by Expatriate on Mar. 20 2010,8:01 am
Sandra Bullock- what's the matter with jesse james, never did care much for his freaked out bikes either..guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder...
Posted by nedkelly on Mar. 20 2010,4:08 pm
(Expatriate @ Mar. 20 2010,8:01 am)
QUOTE
Sandra Bullock- what's the matter with jesse james, never did care much for his freaked out bikes either..guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder...
Why go for ground turkey when you have prime steak at home?...
...personal tats must affect your own common sense... ...ned
Posted by Expatriate on Mar. 20 2010,7:56 pm
(nedkelly @ Mar. 20 2010,4:08 pm)
QUOTE
(Expatriate @ Mar. 20 2010,8:01 am)
QUOTE
Sandra Bullock- what's the matter with jesse james, never did care much for his freaked out bikes either..guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder...
Why go for ground turkey when you have prime steak at home?...
...personal tats must affect your own common sense... ...nedwhat do expect from a guy who builds $100,000 bikes nobody rides...
Posted by grassman on Mar. 27 2010,7:30 am
His mentor?
Posted by pantalonesverdes on Mar. 31 2010,8:29 am
(busybee @ Dec. 29 2009,7:10 pm)
QUOTE
Morally it's wrong, but a CRIME? No.
Actually, it is. Adultery < https://www.revisor.mn.gov/statutes/?id=609.36 >
Posted by Expatriate on Apr. 02 2010,10:28 pm
(pantalonesverdes @ Mar. 31 2010,8:29 am)
QUOTE
(busybee @ Dec. 29 2009,7:10 pm)
QUOTE
Morally it's wrong, but a CRIME? No.
Actually, it is. Adultery < https://www.revisor.mn.gov/statutes/?id=609.36 >
I'm thinking if the state prosecuted in more divorces using statute 609.36 our deficit worries would disappear...and maybe the adulterer would think twice before openly flaunting tawdry affairs...
Posted by Botto 82 on Apr. 03 2010,12:56 am
It's our stupid television-driven culture. Planned and perceived obsolescence is everywhere. Everything becomes disposable. Our lives become defined by what we cannot live without.
Posted by Expatriate on Apr. 03 2010,10:37 am
(Botto 82 @ Apr. 03 2010,12:56 am)
QUOTE
It's our stupid television-driven culture. Planned and perceived obsolescence is everywhere. Everything becomes disposable. Our lives become defined by what we cannot live without.
I'll have to agree, rather than appreciating what we have most lust after more in all areas only to fined the grass is only greener over the septic tank...true happiness eludes them, merely an illusion, a weakness of the flesh dragging them to the depths of despair...
Posted by busybee on Apr. 15 2010,10:08 pm
QUOTE
I'm thinking if the state prosecuted in more divorces using statute 609.36 our deficit worries would disappear...and maybe the adulterer would think twice before openly flaunting tawdry affairs...
I wonder when that statute was originally written?
"609.36 ADULTERY.
Subdivision 1.Acts constituting.
When a married woman has sexual intercourse with a man other than her husband, whether married or not, both are guilty of adultery..."
Is there a statute that clearly states it would be against the law when a married husband has sexual intercourse with a woman other than his wife, whether married or not, both are guilty of adultery...?
This is probably one of the statutes the state would have take out if they hadn't run out of money and decided it was too time consuming to deal with omitting all obsolete laws.
Posted by hairhertz on Apr. 15 2010,10:35 pm
There's an epidemic of serial monogamy.
Posted by Common Citizen on Apr. 16 2010,12:05 am
It's the booze...nuff said...
Posted by busybee on Apr. 16 2010,12:25 am
QUOTE
There's an epidemic of serial monogamy.
Is that the married, divorced, remarried situation or the open marriage swinging partners situation?
Posted by busybee on Apr. 16 2010,12:27 am
QUOTE
It's the booze...
nuff said...
nuff said...
Ah yes, a famous excuse...
Posted by hairhertz on Apr. 16 2010,9:39 pm
(busybee @ Apr. 16 2010,12:25 am)
QUOTE
QUOTE
There's an epidemic of serial monogamy.
Is that the married, divorced, remarried situation or the open marriage swinging partners situation?
marry, divorce, marry, divorce
ala Larry King [except he had a Mulligan/do over with one of his former wives]
Posted by davejar on Apr. 19 2010,3:48 am
CHEATING WHILE MARRIED., WOULD YOU STAY OR DIVORCE ?This is a no brainer...I would NOT tolerate breaking of any solemn vows...so I would separate myself from the situation and the woman ASAP. And even if we ended up back together, I would never trust her 100% again.
POINT: don't cheat on your sweetie, married, live in, dating...JUST SAY NO! Will prevent a lot of angst, heartache, and anger!
Posted by busybee on Apr. 19 2010,6:21 pm
It is a no brainer to me also. So, why do so many people think it's justified to go outside the relationship because they aren't happy instead of breaking it off first?
Posted by davejar on Apr. 19 2010,7:31 pm
(busybee @ Apr. 19 2010,6:21 pm)
QUOTE
It is a no brainer to me also.
So, why do so many people think it's justified to go outside the relationship because they aren't happy instead of breaking it off first?
So, why do so many people think it's justified to go outside the relationship because they aren't happy instead of breaking it off first?
Busybee, that is the eternal mystery.
Posted by Expatriate on Apr. 19 2010,7:50 pm
"You can't eat your cake, and have it too".
Posted by hairhertz on Apr. 20 2010,4:05 am
(Expatriate @ Apr. 19 2010,7:50 pm)
QUOTE
"You can't eat your cake, and have it too".
You can't have your Kate and your Edith too, you rascal you.
Posted by Expatriate on Apr. 25 2010,2:03 pm
(hairhertz @ Apr. 20 2010,4:05 am)
QUOTE
You can't have your Kate and your Edith too, you rascal you.
Now that's an idiomatic proverb..
Posted by Expatriate on Jun. 03 2010,1:21 pm
Al and Tipper too, what happened?
Posted by bianca on Jun. 03 2010,4:22 pm
^I heard that yesterday and thought that was too bad. Afterall, I would've thought the Clintons before the Gores. I guess we just don't know what goes on behind closed doors.I have heard of so many people getting divorced after 30, 40 or more years of marriage. I can't imagine what that transition is like. I applaud
all of the couples that can make a go of it, respect each other and love each other so much that they can spend their whole life with their partner. My parents will be married for 47 years this month and I can honestly say that they love each other more every day. Mom still looks at dad with dreamy eyes when he has a sleeveless t-shirt on and he'll be 70 this month.
It's so darn cute because all I see is how aged his arms have gotten (we never want our parents to get old). 
Come to think of it, in case no one has seen liberal and Sue together she still looks at him like that too and calls him "Chaddy" where most of us here would call him "chatty"
Posted by hairhertz on Jun. 03 2010,5:45 pm
Tipper must have been long suffering having to live with the guy who invented the internet and other equallly important things.