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MADDOG 
Group: Moderator
Posts: 7821
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Mar. 13 2004,2:21 pm |
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Kerry Selects Pee Wee Herman as Running Mate!
Written by Ken Adrian
Pee Wee's Excited About Running With Kerry in 2004!
Los Angeles, CA. - John Kerry has announced his running mate for the 2004 election - Pee Wee Herman.
"I was looking for someone to go to war with in this fight against George Bush" Kerry proclaimed "and I couldn't think of a guy I'd rather have as my "right hand" than Pee Wee."
Mr. Herman, known as to the World simply as Pee Wee was quoted as saying, "I just lo-ve politics... I'm a little on the left but I'm good with the right too. It just depends on what's going to get things off to the best start, you know?"
On the one hand, Mr. Kerry needed someone with a firm grip on the issues and on the other hand, he needed someone who could get media attention.
"We looked at a number of possibilities" said Kerry "but frankly we needed someone who could really get a handle on things... someone who's not afraid of stroking the psyche of the American public - that person was Pee Wee Herman."
Mr. Herman, who will tour with Kerry on a specially designed campaign bicycle, is feeling himself quite confident as the election approaches. "I can't wait to get started!" the former TV star exclaimed "I've loaded up of lotion for my hands - for all those handshakes while we're touring."
Of course, as we know, Kerry still has plenty of time to change his mind. 
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Actually my wife is especially happy when my google check arrives each month. Thanks to douchbags like you, I get paid just for getting you worked up. -Liberal
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MrTarzan
Group: Members
Posts: 564
Joined: Feb. 2004
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Posted on: Mar. 13 2004,4:03 pm |
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LOL, cute maddog.
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Be not simply good, be good for something-Henry David Thoreau
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| Post Number: 3
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minnow
Group: Members
Posts: 2243
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Mar. 14 2004,9:04 am |
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Pee wee was great in the movie "Blow".
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| Post Number: 4
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jimhanson
Group: Moderator
Posts: 8491
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Mar. 14 2004,11:23 am |
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Maybe Kerry will not be able to find a running mate--kind of like his inability to find one co-sponsor of his 1995 bill to cut $1.5 BILLION dollars from the CIA!  | Quote | The bill in question, S.1290 introduced September 29, 1995 by Mr. Kerry, included the following proposal in Sec. 3, paragraph (7):
Reduce the Intelligence budget by $300 million in each of fiscal years 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, and 2000. |
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"If you want to anger a Conservative, tell him a lie. If you want to anger a LIBERAL, tell him the TRUTH!"
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| Post Number: 5
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jimhanson
Group: Moderator
Posts: 8491
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Mar. 14 2004,11:48 am |
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It appears that Kerry may be open to charges similar to those leveled at Al "I invented the internet" Gore--From Hugh Hewitt, New York Times. | Quote | On Monday, John Kerry shocked the reporters in attendance at a Florida fund-raiser when he declared to the audience that "I've met foreign leaders who can't go out and say this publicly, but boy they look at you and say, 'You've got to win, you've got to beat this guy, we need a new policy,' things like that."
CNN did a search of the available records of Kerry meetings over the course of his candidacy and could not find any meeting with any foreign leader. The generous want to credit possible phone calls, but look at Kerry's phrasing – he says he met with foreign leaders, and the leaders "look at you and say" stuff like what a godsend you are, John Kerry.
It seems clear to me that John Kerry made this up – is lying, in short. An Al Gore-like move eight months out. Why would he do such a stupid thing? After all, it is easily checked, and reporters were in the room.
My guess is this: John Kerry knows two things: The election will turn on the war, and on the war, John Kerry is incredibly weak, having flip-flopped and back-flopped and never stopped talking about it from every direction. He is to defense and national security what metrosexuals are to gender – blurring the lines and all things to all people.
And that's not going to fly in the election. Any more than his opposition to the first Gulf War, to the B-1 and B-2, the Aegis cruiser, the M1-Abrahms tank, the Patriot missile or all land-based missile-defense systems. John Kerry would be a disaster for the defense of the United States, and his record of weakness on these issues is long and detailed. Just Monday, in fact, President Bush highlighted Kerry's strange legislative proposition of 1995 calling for a $1.5 billion dollar cut in the funding of the intelligence agencies --a bill that failed to attract the support of even one other senator. Not even Boxer would sign on to that crazy proposal.
So Kerry knows his own record and knows his vulnerability. His response is to create out of whole cloth mythical "foreign leaders" who support his election. Like Harvey the Rabbit, John Kerry has Harvey the "foreign leader" whispering encouragement to him.
That's troubling. Very troubling, and the press doesn't quite know what to do with this odd duck from Massachusetts, but are reluctant to see him implode the week after locking up the nomination. So they aren't pressing very hard.
Here's a suggestion: Just track the "foreign leaders" story with half the energy you tracked the "yellowcake" story. That'll do.
Scary John Kerry. Next thing you know he'll be making up defective voting processes in Florida and hiring lawyers to stake out the Sunshine State. |
I watch CNN a lot, and hadn't seen anything on their findings. A search of CNN's website turned up this link: http://www.washingtontimes.com/national/20040312-120719-7926r.htm Detailing the Washington Times investigation and inability to produce these foreign leaders--these "imaginary friends". None of the TV weekend new shows have taken him to task on either the $1.5 billion dollar cuts proposed, or this apparent fabrication.
In a deja-vu coincidence--Kerry told a Florida audience late in the week that he would have "injunctions pre-filed" for any disputed counties.
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"If you want to anger a Conservative, tell him a lie. If you want to anger a LIBERAL, tell him the TRUTH!"
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MADDOG
Group: Moderator
Posts: 7821
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Mar. 15 2004,7:03 pm |
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I saw the highlights on that. The "heckler" in the crowd stayed right on Kerry, demanding he reveal just which world leaders he'd spoken with. Kerry couldn't say. Finally, Kerry asked him, "Are you a republican or a democrat?"
The fellow replied, "Republican."
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Actually my wife is especially happy when my google check arrives each month. Thanks to douchbags like you, I get paid just for getting you worked up. -Liberal
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| Post Number: 7
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MrTarzan
Group: Members
Posts: 564
Joined: Feb. 2004
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Posted on: Mar. 15 2004,7:11 pm |
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LOL Maddog, that is too funny. 
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Be not simply good, be good for something-Henry David Thoreau
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