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Nose for News 
Group: Members
Posts: 431
Joined: Feb. 2004
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Posted on: Mar. 15 2004,9:14 am |
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Democrats, Republicans, Southerners
As we have elections coming up this may be of value.
Question?
How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Southerners?
Answer. Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around
the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife,
and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
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Democrat Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the
man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would
inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What
about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the
knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does
the
Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded
gun
anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my
children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he
definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I
were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was
stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need
to raise taxes, have a
Paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would
discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this
with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
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Republican Answer:
BANG! BANG!
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Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! Click....(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or
Black Talon Hollow Points??
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DISCLAIMER
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Nose for News Is Pleased To Announce That We Have Absolutely No Affiliation Whatsoever With The Albert Lea Tribune Or Its Parent, Boone Publishing.
Like Other Minnesota/Iowa Residents, We Simply Endure Them.
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jimhanson
Group: Moderator
Posts: 8491
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Mar. 15 2004,9:28 am |
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To put it on the National stage, substitute "Man with a long criminal record" for "Dangerous looking man".
Substitute "one of the largest standing armies in the world" for "huge knife".
Substitute "What would Hollywood elitists think?" for "what would my wife think?"
Substitute "Debate this for over 12 years in the U.N." for "debate this with friends for a few days".
LEAVE THE BANG! BANG!
(epilogue--leave his rotting carcass in the street as a deterrent for any other knife-wielding whacko's)
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"If you want to anger a Conservative, tell him a lie. If you want to anger a LIBERAL, tell him the TRUTH!"
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MrTarzan
Group: Members
Posts: 564
Joined: Feb. 2004
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Posted on: Mar. 15 2004,7:24 pm |
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LOL, where did you find that Nose? Did you write it? That is hilarious. 
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Be not simply good, be good for something-Henry David Thoreau
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GEOKARJO
Google This!!!
Group: Members
Posts: 7799
Joined: Aug. 2003
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Posted on: Mar. 16 2004,12:30 pm |
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The South Is Goin' to do it Again ........Bang Bang Bang.......
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